I wanted to know badly what it was like for Alexis to test her mind in such a rare and challenging way, so I asked her to describe what happened. Here is what she wrote:
After I told the cousins I was spending Christmas with that I went bungee jumping right after meditating, they were shocked and expressed how they thought it was a contradiction, and it didn't make sense. We learn in Buddhism that space is joy, that we can trust the moment. This is what makes us fearless. With meditation practice this is what we are able to experience. We take refuge in the Lama our example (fearless free and joyful), Buddha (the enlightened state), our friends on the way (inspiration, mirrors), and in these teachings.
When I first heard that it was a tradition to take people bungee jumping after meditation at the Dallas center, I did feel a strong fear running through my body, along with a hesitation and excitement. These feelings were the indication that I should definitely do it. As we were approaching the venue I felt confident and calm. These feelings stayed until the moment I stood on the edge. The critical moment where you can decide to take action or be paralyzed with fear. I stood there, and instead of just acting and trusting I started overthinking. This was a great lesson. The more I tried to rationalize or control the more the fear grew. Why? Because I was separating myself from the moment. I took a step back and let my Bodhisattva friend go first. It was amazing to watch. He stepped to the edge, turned smiled at us and without hesitation and complete trust he jumped with joy into space. In this moment I realized the meaning of sangha: how we are here to inspire each other and mirror each other's qualities so we can benefit all beings.
Now it was my turn. I knew that if I was to jump I had to let go. Let go of concepts, thoughts, and feelings (all illusory in the end). I had to trust space, trust the moment. So, I stepped on the edge and jumped. That second I was falling was completely fresh. One of the best moments in my life. There was no time, space, or concepts. I felt complete joy. I was in the moment.
Our practice is not about not feeling disturbances or pushing them away or about trying to hold on to a comfortable feeling or situation. Our practice is about accepting whatever may come and looking at in the eye, embracing it, and powering through it. This is how we develop because we are able to understand that it is all passing. The only thing that isn't passing is what notices that it is all passing. That awareness is really something worth trusting.
Two days later another powerful experience brought the words of my teacher to mind. A tornado hit the city...
Part 3 gives Alexis' account of staring down an F5 tornado.